I never thought this day would come. I’m not a deep person — I take great pleasure in things like beauty pageants, trashy magazines, and yes, America’s Next Top Model. So I never would have imagined, given my personality, that I would grow bored watching ANTM. The make-up, the photo shoots, the cattiness are all things I love.
I really thought I would be looking forward to this season, or “Cycle” in Tyra-speak. I was all for the idea of giving models under 5’7″ their five minutes of fame. After all, it’s not like scores of past contestants have catapulted to fame. I thought that perhaps broadening the range of auditioning girls would open up the competition to new, exciting contestants who never before had the chance to try out. I thought the girls would be prettier, because beauty shots are something you can do at 5’2″ as well as 5’11″. I thought wrong.
Is it just me, or is this one of the blandest seasons ever? The only thing standing out this Cycle is Mr. Jay’s hair and teeth. Speaking of which, I never thought it possible, but this season of ANTM actually makes me prefer the Canadian knock-off to the original. Cheap summer viewing no more, Mr. Jay is surpassing Tyra as the best Top Model host. The contestants were livelier, the judges more passionate.
Take this past episode. The “drama” in the house consisted of a few sore losers ganging up on a girl who essentially tried her best to win a challenge. Excuse me? What happened to crazy chicks screaming at each other over granola bars? The photos, taken this week by Tyra herself, were good but boring. I long for contestants with real personalities like past models Joanie, Caridee, Natasha, Jaslene and Analeigh (to name only a few). Boring contestants equals boring photos, equals a boring show. I can only imagine how lifeless these girls will be in their Cover Girl commercials.
This Cycle of ANTM better pick up — after all, it’s not a guilty pleasure show when you no longer find it pleasurable.