Miss USA: They all want to be California girls

Miss USA, Alyssa Campanella

I watched the Miss USA pageant last night, and if I learned anything it’s that it is much less fun to watch a pageant alone. Usually, I watch with my mom and grandmother and we make fun of the ugly dresses and select our picks to win.

Still, I find watching pageants fun. Miss USA is typically the pretty pageant, while Miss America gives girls things like scholarships and stuff. It has a horrendous talent show portion, as well. Miss USA? Education, schmeducation, they have to send that girl to Miss Universe so they need to pick the prettiest one!

Of my eight early picks, only two made it through – Alabama and California. And they made it all the way to the finals, too. My favorite portion of the show is always the evening gown competition, and this year’s gowns didn’t disappoint…in the comedy department, anyway. Were any of you watching? Oh. My. God. It was horrendous. 1980s prom nightmares left and right! When did massive, ugly earrings that match your massive, ugly dress come back into style? Is this a hot look? I don’t want to live in a world where I have to wear bedazzled golf balls hanging from my ears.

The final question period can also be fun, if only because the four final girls are all asked awkward questions and have to fumble their ways through those typical, diplomatic beauty pageant answers. My favorite was when one judge asked “Should burning of religious texts [and he referenced someone burning a Koran] be protected by the first amendment the same way burning flags are protected?” Instead of responding to the question, which was about burning religious texts, Miss Tennessee declared that “burning the American flag is not patriotic at all.” Wow. Thanks for the insight, dear.

There was a thinly veiled question about Weiner-gate, a question about whether bullying that results in suicide should be prosecuted, and a question to eventual winner Miss California about legalizing marijuana. The question was specifically about whether it was a good idea given the economy and drug wars, but Miss California lost her way a bit and veered into medical marijuana territory. But she’s a smokin’ hot redhead, so she won anyway.

Did you catch any of the pageant? If so, did you hate those gowns as much as I did? And here’s a fun fact for Survivor fans – Miss California trained at ESP Wellness Centre, which is owned by Survivor star Parvati Shallow and her BFF The Amazing Race alum and CBS reality show casting gal Erika Shay.

About Jill

Pop culture junkie and TV aficionado. I write sharp and snarky TV recaps at www.couchtimewithjill.com
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