New Girl: No Schmidt!

This is about as far as poor Jess got

New Girl is at a great place for a Valentine’s Day episode, and last night’s episode didn’t disappoint. Everyone in the gang is at a different place, romantically, and it was fun to try and watch them navigate the holiday.

Jess is single for the first time in a long time, and after rebounding somewhat with Justin Long (what was his character’s name again?) she was ready to get out there and have some fun. That’s right, Jess was looking for a one night stand. Only, as CeCe pointed out, Jess doesn’t do one night stands.

I liked seeing Jess throw herself so enthusiastically into a situation that was bound to turn out bad for her. She just isn’t cut out for a fling like that, even if she really wants one. She brought an overnight bag packed with stuff to the bar, and she needed significant coaching/babysitting from Schmidt and CeCe in order to land the right guy for the job – someone attractive, but not someone she had any emotional connection with at all.

The sequence of events here was really funny – Jess ended up in a bad situation, and CeCe and Schmidt kept getting thrown together. I could see the hookup coming, but it was still fun to watch everything that played a role in Schmidt finally landing in bed with CeCe. Jess’s crazy hookup, CeCe’s boyfriend getting high on shrooms, Schmidt’s car getting put on blocks by “street youths”. And then Jess almost crashed the party by briefly contemplating hooking up with Schmidt herself – thank god for Nick!

Nick, of course, is in a relationship this year and he and Julia planned to make the most of it. Except she got stuck at work, so he spent most of the night hanging out with her intern. And then he accidentally inspired her intern to quit. There wasn’t a lot of material here, but there were enough laughs to make it enjoyable.

Winston is the one in limbo. He doesn’t have a girlfriend, but he was trying to win over Shelby. I like the idea that Winston is something of a reformed player, because it adds dimension to his character that used to be lacking. Back when he was an arrogant basketball player, he treated Shelby like crap. So she was reluctant to give him a second chance, and instead invited him to her Valentine’s Day girls’ night. But Winston really likes this girl, so he stayed – and she appreciated it.

What did you guys think of “Valentine’s Day”?

Favorite Quotes & Moments:

  • “Look, Jess, truth is I don’t go out on Valentine’s Day. There’s no thrill. All these bars filled with emotionally vulnerable women — it’s like a Dominican teenager playing little league. It’s just not fair for everybody else.” – Schmidt
  • “Aw, one shoe? I hate that.” – Jess, when CeCe says Jess can form an emotional attachment to a shoe on the side of the road
  • “You know where that puts you in six months? Watching It’s Complicated on DVD while you cradle your newborn baby to sleep. And guess what, it’s not complicated. It’s about a bunch of rich white people who are remodeling their kitchen.” – Schmidt (not a math whiz, I guess)
  • Jess’s euphemism for horny is “twirly”. 
  • “That’s the biggest box of condoms I’ve ever seen. Honestly. Does it have, like, a roller? Like, you know, you go to the airport with it?” – Schmidt
  • “Very intimidating! A normal man can go maybe three times a night… depending on how much salmon he’s had.” – Schmidt
  • Jess’s overnight bag included a sewing kit and a hundred pack of condoms.
  • Jess knew she didn’t have anything in common with her prospective hookup because he didn’t understand her old-timey newspaper voice.
  • CeCe said Kyle on shrooms is “real handsy…and a little racist.”
  • Max Greenfield’s delivery of “youths” will make it an instant quotable line in my household.
  • Cliff: “So how did you get that far into law school and then drop out?”
    Nick: “Well, I got my heart broken, and then everything got weird. I started playing guitar in an alt-country ska band… gambling a lot. There was a really weird week where I wore a long blonde wig and made everybody call me Sandy Ferguson.”
    Cliff: “I have never loved anybody that much.”
    Nick: “Then I drove to Mexico, and I tried to enter a cockfight.”
    Cliff: “As a person?” [Yes]

About Jill

Pop culture junkie. Food lover. Feminist. Content marketer. I'm here to win and I'm also here to make friends.
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3 Responses to New Girl: No Schmidt!

  1. Ben says:

    I was unapologetically unenthusiastic about the New Girl up until the last two or three episodes. They've definitely been trying hard to push the bar a little bit and not just be 'the show with that dorky girl.'

  2. Jill Mader says:

    I think the best thing they've done is embrace Max Greenfield, who plays Schmidt, as a really valuable part of the cast. I feel like the show was never intended to be only a vehicle to show off Zooey's "adorkable"-ness, but that's how people decided it should be marketed. It actually reminds me a lot of Cougar Town, and how that show was originally very different than it became.

  3. Ben says:

    YES. He was unbearable for me for the first episode or two but now I just can't wait for everything that comes out of his mouth! He's a total Brittany S. Pierce!'Youuuuths' was killing me this week. So good.

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