Last night’s Oscars red carpet was disappointing, don’t you think? I had high hopes since a lot of my favorite actresses really brought their A-games for the Golden Globes, but there weren’t very many gowns on the red carpet last night that really blew me away. (There were a few though, so go check out my post on the best dresses from last night as well!)
Of course, there are always going to be mishaps and mistakes on the red carpet. So let’s talk about those!
Cameron Diaz: I’m glad Cameron Diaz is back to short hair because I think it really suits her, but this nude, tight, strapless gown just didn’t stand out to me at all. Yawn.
Berenice Bejo: I love Berenice, and she’s French a.k.a. stylish, so I expected good things. And this dress is nice. Helen Mirren would have looked lovely in it. But for her? Too old.
Glenn Close: The jacket. The big problem is the jacket. (Didn’t she know about Jennifer Hudson?)
Ellie Kemper: I love Ellie Kemper and I wanted to like this dress, but it was the same color as her hair. And that really bothered me.
Jessica Chastain: I wanted to like this dress, but it really didn’t do Jessica’s figure any favors, did it?
Meryl Streep: Another awards show, another fancy bathrobe…
Michelle Williams: This was *almost* cute, but I just hate tiered skirts.
Angelina Jolie: Boring. I expect better. And she was overposing to show off the big slit.
Shailene Woodley: I know some people liked this, but it reminded me of a science fiction movie costume or something.
Tina Fey: Guess what? Wearing a dress with a built-in apron that covers your midsection is not slimming. It’s just uncomfortable.
Viola Davis: Oh man, this was SO close to making my five worst dresses list. I don’t mind the short hair, although I do wish it had been styled more. (See: Any photo of Halle Berry.) But the dress? What is going on with her boobs? Why are they pushed around like that? Ow!
Kristen Wiig: Is Kristen Wiig allergic to color? Has she ever seen a rainbow? Does she have a stylist with stock in beige dresses that look like dishrags? What is going on???
And now, the Worst Five:
5. Gwyneth Paltrow: Only Ms. Goop herself would show up in a damn cape. Without the cape it was an OK dress, but I refuse to forget that she WORE A FREAKING CAPE TO THE OSCARS.
4. Melissa McCarthy: I was really hoping Melissa would rock it, but this dress was just bad news. In particular, the bodice. It was just a bad decision.
3. Rooney Mara: I don’t think this photo does the dress justice – how much I disliked it, anyway. It was too stiff, too structured, too hard. Drop the Lisbeth Salandar act, Rooney, and relax a little.
2. Jennifer Lopez: At the party I was at, the ladies were all in agreement that this dress was a bad move. Too tight, too revealing, too dated – honestly, at first I thought I was looking at footage of J-Lo from 2002. She hasn’t aged, but unfortunately her style hasn’t either.
1. Melissa Leo: It almost seems unfair to put Melissa on this list, because she so often looks like a trainwreck on the red carpet. It’s like she’s wearing glittery pyjamas. She should lend them to Meryl Streep for next year’s Golden Globes.
OK, head to the comments, y’all! Who was your choice for worst dressed?