Yes, I have amended the words to the unfortunate song “Birthday Sex” by Jeremiah to suit my birthday – don’t try to tell me it’s not an improvement – and, yes, yes, today is my birthday.
*pauses for applause*
So today I’m turning 26 and will celebrate by eating grilled cheese sandwiches and not watching the return-from-hiatus episode of Glee until tomorrow because y’all know it’ll ruin my day. (That makes my birthday sound crazy lame. I promise it’s not. There will be cake and presents too, and karaoke on the weekend. I’m just real excited for grilled cheese, y’all.)
I’m totally fine about entering the last half of my 20s, because people in their late 20s are the central characters on many of my favorite sitcoms. And what is life, if not one long sitcom? Also, I’m totally fine because I’m pretty sure my quarter-life crisis (yes, the self-centered YouTube generation has those now) happened last year.
I was going to re-post my birthday blog from last year, in which I recount all the best birthday episodes Gilmore Girls ever did. There are lots. And while I’m still sort of hoping that someone spells out “Happy Birthday
Lorelai Jill” in Canadian mallomars (so, Dream Puffs) for me, I realized that I can do better.
When looking for that old blog post, I realized that within the last year A LOT of TV shows I watch have done birthday episodes. So I’m here to recount them and give the birthdays grades.
In this episode, Cam turned “ten” (so, forty) on his birthday, which just happens to fall on leap day. I wish my birthday were on leap day because I’d also make a HUGE deal out of it every four years. I was a fan of this birthday storyline because it featured my favorite thing, which is a over-the-top theme party. I like to dress up. A lot. So even though Mitch’s Wizard of Oz theme party didn’t happen, he gets points for trying. Grade: B+
Meet Jerry Gergich, the anti-Cam. Whereas Cam on Modern Family sees a Leap Day birthday as a reason to be extra-outlandish every four years, Jerry can’t get anyone to remember his birthday. So for his 64th birthday, Leslie tries to throw him a sweet sixteen. But because he’s Jerry (and because the campaign has her spread too thin) it’s an utter failure – no one invites Jerry. Grade: F
This episode was kind of a downer, because it featured a very heartbreaking scene in which Richard sang “My Funny Valentine” to Adele, who was suffering from a particularly bad Alzheimer’s foggy spell. He was celebrating his 10,000th surgery the same day Zola was celebrating her first birthday though, and that was very sweet. Zola didn’t know they gave away her cake. Grade: C
This was a hilarious episode in which Schmidt celebrated his 29th birthday via party bus. I’m only turning 26 and I’ll be celebrating on Friday by going to karaoke with my friends, but I hope my 29th is this hilarious. Or maybe not – it was also kind of melodramatic, and I get motion sickness so party buses really aren’t for me. Grade: C-(Remember, it was a very douchey party.)
Fancy birthday clambake? Sure! Psychotic person holding a gun to my head? Pass. Grade: F
This was a fantastic episode of Parenthood, in which Zeek made the whole family hit the road to go visit his mom for her 86th birthday. Major family drama and aforementioned motion sickness mean this birthday celebration is not one in which I’d want to partake. Grade: D
In this episode, Sarah Braverman wanted to celebrate her 40th birthday by having a dance party, and Amber was being lame. I hate lame teenage daughters, but I love dance parties. Also, I love Lauren Graham. Lorelai Gilmore is my spirit animal. So even though Sarah Braverman < Lorelai Gilmore, and this birthday did not feature mallomars, getting to dance with Lauren Graham would qualify any party as pretty damn rockin’. Grade: A-
So, the moral of this story is that Gilmore Girls still threw the best parties, BY FAR, and next year I am just going to re-post that blog article again.
OK now, hit me with your favorite birthday themed TV episodes.