Wow. After watching last night’s episode of Survivor, I was really happy to see Kat get voted out. Of all the young, hot twenty-somethings we’ve seen on this show over the years, have we ever seen someone so spoiled and selfish? It was becoming unbearable. She had to go.

I think the fact that Kim ended up listening to the other people in her alliance and agreed to vote out Kat instead of Sabrina is a sign of what a good game she’s playing. Sure, she was contemplating going to the end with Kat. But with Christina, Alicia and Tarzan there she still has plenty of options, and you have to pick your battles. Kim made the right choice in keeping Chelsea and Alicia happy, even if it meant keeping Sabrina around a little longer than planned.

I have to say though, I’m surprised everyone views Sabrina as such a threat. Yes, she’s lovely and well-spoken. But she hasn’t performed well in the challenges and last week’s Reward Challenge revealed that people think she’s lazy around camp. It’s interesting that Chelsea and Alicia are so wrapped around Kim’s finger that they’ve yet to admit who the real threat is – everyone’s BFF Kim.

We Are Family, I Got All My Loved Ones With Me

OK, let’s back up a little. The episode started off with Alicia talking about how Sabrina was more dangerous in the game than Christina, because Christina is so dumb. Well, you’ll get no argument there. Her actions last week proved that she doesn’t have a sweet clue how to play this game. But then Alicia said she is the most powerful player in the game right now, and I did a spit take. Oh girl. Your inappropriate bikini top MUST be cutting off oxygen from your brain.

The Reward Challenge this week was family visits. Did you tear up at all? Did you cry? Did you? Is that a tear? But Christina’s father is DYING. OK, I actually don’t care if you cried, I’m just doing an impression of my boyfriend who watched me like a hawk during this segment to see if I’m capable of feeling real human emotions. (I’m not. I wondered why Christina didn’t bring a family member who could perform better in the challenge with her.)

So, can we talk about the weird relationship between Kat and her cousin? She CRAWLED to him like a puppy. And went on and on about how he’s the MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE! Um, do they allow cousins to marry in Florida? I feel like they do.

It’s my family and I’ll cry if I want to.

Anyway, the general consensus of the group seemed to be that Tarzan and Christina were the most deserving of the reward. Christina’s dad had recently had a kidney transplant and only has 5 or 10 years left, maybe. OK, even I can admit that hearing Christina talk about her dad was sad. Tarzan is 64 and has been married 30 years – I’m not sure why this qualified him as most deserving, but since that was how the group felt it seemed clear that the obvious strategy would be to choose Christina and Tarzan for the reward.

Tied together, each player and their loved one had to make it through a tangled rope course. It was a close one – Kim and her sister, Chelsea and her dad and Kat and her cousin all performed well, but in the end Kat and Cousin Robbie won.  Kat was excited to have finally won something, but she was more excited that the reward itself would include margaritas. So who did she choose to go with her? Kim and Alicia, because she wanted to get drunk with them.

Sigh. Oh Kat. THIS is why you’ll go down in Survivor history as a moron. If you want to have drinks with Kim and Alicia, make some plans with them for after the finale. Do not anger everyone else in the game by making a selfish, stupid decision. Not only did she choose her friends, but she chose two people who’d JUST been on a reward. “I’m about to get DRUNK!” Kat shouted. Keep it klassy, homegirl!

Final Three Plans

And sure enough, pretty much everyone back at camp was angry that Tarzan and Christina hadn’t been chosen. And these people don’t even like Christina! Pretty soon, everyone at camp was talking about how Kat had to go – whether because she’s selfish and horrible, or because she’s a dumb, fun party girl who’d bonded with some of the guys and could actually get votes in the end.

But over at the reward, Kim was strategizing with her sister and wondering if the two girls she was sitting with, Kat and Alicia, were her best bet for the final three. I like how Kim has done such a good job of keeping her options open. She has a lot of choices for the final three, and miraculously it seems everyone still wants to go with her. I think the best choices are Alicia and Christina.

Endure This

Time for the Immunity Challenge! It’s one of my favorites, an endurance challenge that requires players to hold onto a rope to keep themselves in an uncomfortable plank-style position as they’re lowered closer and closer to the water.

Hang in there, sisters

Surprisingly, Sabrina was out first. Next Tarzan, who did last much longer (ten minutes?) than I expected. And one by one Alicia, Chelsea and Christina were out. It came down to Kat vs. Kim, and they lasted over an hour. At this point, Kim has given up on wondering if she should throw immunity challenges to make herself seem like less of a threat, and I’m glad. I like people who have to give a challenge their all, and

I like that Kim isn’t feeling so cocky about her position in the game that she doesn’t think she needs to win. And she still has that Hidden Immunity Idol! Kim is perfectly poised to be almost guaranteed a spot in the final four.

Kat, always the spoiled brat, basically begged Kim to let her win the challenge. What is wrong with this girl? Would it feel good, to be handed the challenge? Would she feel proud of herself then? What a freakin’ princess. Kim beat her, and Kat acted like an absolute child after. She refused to give Kim a high-five, and at some point moaned about losing to a 28 year-old. Oh, because 28 is positively decrepit! Geez Louise! Kim is a monster in these challenges, she is very physically fit, and Kat should have just been proud of her own efforts and congratulated Kim on the win.

Are you 22 or a toddler?

Back at camp, Alicia was questioning her desire to vote out Sabrina next. After all, Sabrina had been out of the challenge first – even Alicia beat her, and Alicia sucks. Alicia didn’t want to get into a situation where Kat would win her way into the finals, and that’s because I think Alicia would rather take Christina to the finals. Chelsea also wanted to vote out Kat, because of Kat’s spoiled, selfish behavior. I like Chelsea, but she plays with too much emotion.

Kim still wanted to vote out Sabrina, though, and we went into Tribal Council not knowing which way she and Chelsea had decided to go.

At Tribal Council, Kat was a bit of a punching bag. And you know what? Good! Someone needs to knock some sense into her, because the whole “I’m only 22!” thing is getting real old. This is what happens, America, when you don’t let people go to bars until they’re 21. It stunts their emotional development. I was so happy when Chelsea said “22 is not that young,” because she’s right. There have been plenty of 22 year-old players on this game before who haven’t been as wussy and whiny as Kat. (For example, Jenna Morasca was only 21 when she won, Todd Herzog was 22 when he won, and both  Parvati and Amanda were 23 during their first tries playing the game.)

Kat did the absolute worst job defending herself during Tribal Council, focusing on how much it hurt her to see people mad at her after the Reward Challenge (the poor dear…) and saying “Yes, strategically I could have picked two different people, but at that time I was thinking more, like, who would I have a great time with — not thinking strategically.” Gee, ya think?

And then, showing just what a moron she really is, Kat said “If it is going to be a blindside, it is going to be pretty fun and pretty, like, like, exciting.” Oh Kat. Not only does that make you look like an idiot if you’re voted out, but you’re basically saying that you’re going to enjoy backstabbing whoever you voted for. What an end game!

And with that, Kat was voted out. She was crushed, and sobbed her way through the exit confessional. How exciting and fun is it now, Kat? And because she absolutely could not leave with a shred of class, she obviously had to wail about the humiliation of leaving before Christina and Tarzan. Oh, and she begged Probst for a second chance at playing the game. Oh behalf of viewers everywhere, Kat, I think the answer is no.