Everything I Know About Marriage I’ve Learned From Friday Night Lights
With the TV season winding down, I’ve decided to try and tackle a series of essays that have been floating around in my head for a while now – all under the banner of “Everything I Know About Life, I Learned From Television”.
It sounds pathetic to some and, sure, it’s a coy overstatement. But really, I have learned a lot from television. Mary Richards inspired me to go to journalism school, I channel Tami Taylor every day when I deal with difficult people at work, I spent real time and effort finding a group of friends I enjoyed and could relate to because I wanted that wacky-group-of-pals sitcom experience.
And recently, something happened in my life that brought all of this to the forefront. A boy proposed, I said yes, and now I’m supposed to be doing this thing called getting married. It’s one of those big, adult decisions that freak me out a little, like working in an office or buying milk instead of new shoes. (Remind me to tell you the story of how I electrocuted myself a little right before he proposed another time.)
Like a lot of people my age, my parents are divorced. (Divorce is so common now that it’s no longer OK to say “I come from a broken home” as an excuse for any and all bad or erratic behavior. It’s unfortunate, really.) They’ve always been divorced, at least to me – I was young and can’t remember anything else. In fact, there’s a lot of divorce in my life. Some people are shooting oh-for-two, and while my grandparents have been happily (I would hope) married for years, they’re so old that it’s difficult for me to look at them and go, “Oh, OK, that’s what a functional marriage looks like.”
Enter Coach and Mrs. Coach. The people I plan to base my marriage on.
In watching five seasons of Friday Night Lights, you get to know the relationship of Tami and Eric Taylor. OK, yeah, it’s fictional. I do understand the difference between reality and television, so you can delete that “Let’s stage an intervention for Jill” mass email you’ve been preparing. But I think there’s a lot to be learned from this imaginary life partnership.
I want to be best friends. I want to support one another in our life decisions. I want to argue and fight without forgetting that we love each other. And I want other things, of course, things that are uniquely me and him and have nothing to do with FNL. I want to DVR Jeopardy for us to watch together every day until Alex Trebek dies, and even longer because maybe then someone a little less snide will host. I want to win at Scrabble and lose at Using Logic In The Everyday World. I want to have kids and grandkids and hopefully a dachshund because honestly, they’re adorable. And yeah, I want the kind of relationship I saw on Friday Night Lights.
As far as TV marriages go, Friday Night Lights depicted the best and hopefully most realistic one I’ve ever seen. There were conflicts, but we as viewers never felt the marriage was in jeopardy. No one cheated on the other because, come on, it’s Coach and Mrs. Coach. When Eric had the chance to go coach college football, Tami let him go even though she was pregnant because she wanted him to achieve his dreams. And then he gave that up when he saw she was struggling with the baby and Julie was being a brat (because Julie was always the worst) and the job wasn’t that great anyway. But he gave it up, because his marriage was more important. And then in the series finale (spoiler alert, but guys it aired forever ago!) they moved so that Tami could take an exciting new job, because it was her turn. They both work, they both parent, they both make big life decisions together. It’s a true partnership.
News is floating around the Interwebs about a possible Friday Night Lights movie, and I can’t say I’m happy about that idea. It’s fine in theory, but so is finishing an entire wheel of brie cheese, until you do and you feel like puking. It’s always better to end on a good note, and the series finale of Friday Night Lights and where we left those characters was basically perfect. Where we left Eric and Tami Taylor was perfect, and I hope my real marriage resembles their imaginary one.
Minus the moody teenage daughter, of course. But I wouldn’t mind the large-headed baby.
Like! Can’t wait to read more tv-related life lessons. Congratulations again on the engagement!
Thanks so much! I have plans for more of these over the summer. Most of my expectations for life have been informed by television.
Oh no you spoiled FNL for me, guess I don’t have to watch it now
. Also I may have choked slightly on my coffee reading “I want to DVR Jeopardy for us to watch together every day until Alex Trebek dies”. When that day comes I want his job..
When that day comes, I want you to have his job! You’ll be perfect for correcting people when they mispronounce things.
Love your TV lessons series, Jill – keep them coming!
Thanks!
Hi – I started watching Friday Night Lights because I read how much you loved it and I am so hooked…love the Coach and his wife and think he is such a hunk, mostly because of his personality – tough but still caring when he should be…I am almost done with season 4 but am stuck on the second to last episode…my favorite character of all is Tim and since I know what happens I can’t bear to watch…weird I know!! I am also totally enjoying your Bachlorette reviews, I am actually back into this season, could not stand to watch Ben’s season…BTW have you watched Love in the Wild…it is actually pretty entertaining…congrats on the engagement too!
Ah! I’m so glad I’ve turned another person onto the show! This makes me so happy, I’m glad you like it. Yes, Coach Taylor is totally swoon-worthy. I love Tim Riggins as well. Thanks very much!
Congratulations on your engagement Jill!
Thank you!
Jill congratulations on your engagement! I don’t need to tell you how much I love any post which ties in with FNL, I am rewatching it now and it is still so wonderful, moving and special the next time around. Looking forward to more of your tv life lessons
Thanks so much Dana!
I came back to reread this post since I can now read past the spoiler alert. I just finished watching the series, and I won’t lie – I’m a little bit devastated that it’s over. Your wheel of brie example is bang on, despite the fact that I am so not ready to say goodbye to these characters. Texas forever!
As far as fictional marriages go, I think you picked the best to learn from. The Taylors worked hard at their marriage, respected each other, and made difficult compromises. But even when things got really tough, they never ran away. They stood their ground. And above all they were best friends who not only loved each other but never stopped being in love with each other. So congratulations again – I wish all of that for you two!
I look forward to the next installment – love the concept.
Texas Forever! I’m so excited that you finished & loved the series. Who are your favorite characters? It’s obviously hard to choose, but other than Coach & Mrs. Coach I always liked Tyra, Tim Riggins and Grandma Saracen a lot. And Gracie Bell. And Mama Smash.
It is *so* hard to choose! Obviously the Taylors (the parents mostly – Julie was kind of a pain) and Tim Riggins. Beyond that, I super enjoyed Landry, which kind of came as a shock. He grew on me a lot over the years. I have a huge soft spot for Matt Saracen, and yes – Grandma Saracen was amazing. Tyra was a favourite for me too.
It was interesting to see the show evolve organically with every season/school year. Students come and go, and the show stayed true to this. I was also happy to see that characters who moved on were never forgotten – even if the actors didn’t return. Like Smash for example.
Oh yes, I loved Landry too! I never found The Moment in season two that hard to get past.
I think they did a really good job, especially in the last two seasons, of bringing in new characters and mixing them in with old ones. I cared a lot about Vince, and I ended up caring about Becky thanks to the abortion storyline. And despite not caring much about Jess at first, the idea of her wanting to be a football coach really won me over with that character.
Jill, Loved that post. Even though I’m from Australia and we have never gotten Friday Night Lights on TV here (not to my knowledge anyway) I have heard great things about the show, and the two characters you talked about. Even though they are fictional, I understand what you mean about wanting to have the kind of marriage as theirs. Thanks again for another entertaining read. I’ve been following your blog for a while now and really enjoy it. Jel
Thanks so much!
Pingback: Everything I Know About Life I’ve Learned From TV – Chapter Two (Part One) | Couchtime With Jill
Pingback: Everything I Know About Life I’ve Learned From TV – Chapter Two (Part Two) | Couchtime With Jill