Big Brother – Allison Makes Snap Judgements

Hi Couchtime Readers,

It’s that time again. Can you feel it? As we speak Julie Chen, aka Chen Bot, is getting oiled up for this season’s Big Brother! I had a lot of fun reviewing the show and got some great feedback from you guys so I decided to do it again.

The show doesn’t premiere until July 12 but the cast photos have been revealed so in the tradition of Couchtime, here are my snap judgments.

Jojo Spatafora

I’ve noticed since Jersey Shore became such a huge hit, reality shows try hard to cast Jersey Shore type people. Remember Amazing Race’s Joey Fitness?  This Jojo really fits the bill. She’s from Staten Island, has an Italian sounding last name and just look closely at those nails. Kitty got claws. I predict she will be the “ball-buster” of the house.

Kara Monaco

Surprise, surprise Big Brother has cast someone who is a model. This Kara is pretty cute, but that tattoo on her shoulder is telling me more. Something else is going on there. I wonder if she will keep her modeling a secret like Cassi attempted to last year? That was funny when she told people she was really a model. No one was surprised.

Shane Meaney

His last name is Meaney? I wonder if that worked for or against him at school. Says here he’s a house flipper. I think those skills will do very well on this show. But he can’t show his cards too early. He may keep the house flipping a secret. No sure what kind of hairstyle this is. It’s like a faux hawk that got caught in the rain.

Wil Heuser

How many of you did a quick double-take to check if this was a man or a woman posing for a romance novel? My God this guy’s hair is flawless.  I know so many girls who would die to have hair just like this. I hope during the season he will share his secrets.  But wait, is he supposed to be the hot guy on the show because I am not a fan. I don’t trust guys hair that is nicer than mine.  And finally, what is up with people removing the double consonants from their names? First it was the Bachelorette’s Jef, now this guy. You too good for that second ‘L’?

Willie Hantz

If you didn’t already clue in, yes this is Russell Hantz’s brother. Apparently CBS is under some obligation that a Hantz needs to be on their shows at least once every six months. Jill and I think CBS should give the whole darn family their own show. You know it’s going to happen. Imagine them all just betraying each other. It could be called “The Hunger Hantz.” OK, back to Willie. Well, he is a lot less trollish than Russell, so that’s good enough for me.

Ashley Iocco

Apparently they took this photo as she was just getting out of the shower.  Anyone else find these photos are off or poorly lit? I am impressed she owns a tanning salon company. Correction – she owns a mobile tanning salon company. And according to the picture she is not only the president, she is a client.

Danielle Murphree

Her last name sounds like a drunk person trying to say, “Murphy.”  Maybe that’s how her last name came to be. Well she is just cute as a button and she is from Alabama, therefore she is this year’s country bumpkin.

Frank Eudy

You know what I’m thinking right? He’s been dipping into some special brownies. He is also unemployed. Yup, he’s having a great time.

Ian Terry

OMG! I want to put him in my pocket. He is just adorable. Look at him. He’s wearing his little glasses and his shirt’s not ironed and his hair is mess. Oh, it’s like he just woke up from naptime at pre-k. And he’s an engineering student? I love engineers. I hope he is not as nerdy as he looks and I hope the girls are nice to him. He will make money someday.

Jenn Arroyo

Well she’s the bad ass of the group. But I found on this show the girls that had the most tattoos were really the most sensitive. Will she and Jojo be friends or enemies?

Jodi Rollins

Finally, an older woman! I bet she has kids and is, “Doing it for them.”

Joe Arvin

Uncle Joey, is that you? Why are you starring into my soul? This man really does look like Dave Coulier. According to his bio and shirt, Joe is chef. I think Joe has a lot of power in the house. I would never want to vote off a chef. If I had to eat slop or the dumb food America votes for Joe could help me turn it into something great. Or I watch way too much Top Chef and believe chefs can work miracles.

Well that is the cast so far. As usual, Big Brother will be placing four past players in show again. Let me give you a suggestion BB producers: NO MORE RACHEL! That’s all.

So what are your thoughts? Do any of these people look like winners or will the Veterans take over like last season? And can I just ask…. WHERE ARE ALL THE HOT GUYS? I need something to look at all summer. This Wil guy is not my cup of tea. He’s prettier than me.

Get ready to spend the summer with me, the housemates, and Julie.

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About Jill

Pop culture junkie and TV aficionado. I write sharp and snarky TV recaps at www.couchtimewithjill.com
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2 Responses to Big Brother – Allison Makes Snap Judgements

  1. kimberleymosher says:

    I had totally forgotten this show was coming up again until this past week when my family made fun of me getting totally into the show in summers past! Guess that’s my cue to get on board for yet another season.

    I think that I’m with you on your observations. I am super curious to watch Wil (and his luscious locks!) and the nerdy Ian (“adorkable!”, as Zooey would say).

  2. LNS says:

    I think you are right about the chef, if he is the nice fatherly type I could see the girls teaming with him, and being a chef would be a huge asset…and no man candy, when I am sitting here saying the Hantz brther isn’t that bad looking there is a problem :)

    Looking forward to the reviews!

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