The Golden Globes Red Carpet – Favorites and Frowns

I wasn’t as excited about the Golden Globe Awards as I usually am, because back when the nominations came out I wasn’t thrilled with them. I know that we’re all supposed to know that these nominations are a joke, but I still get mad. How do you not even nominate Parks and Recreation for Best TV Comedy? There is no justification on the planet for omitting Mad Men from the Best TV Drama list but including The Newsroom! I have so many feelings. I wanted to boycott.

But of course, I didn’t boycott. I watched, I tweeted, I blogged. So first off, check out a few of the red carpet gowns that blew me away and made me say “Oh, honey, no.”

Favorites

favorite golden globes 2013 gowns

Left to right: Michelle Dockery, Lucy Liu, Kristen Bell, Olivia Munn

My favorite dresses were the ones that were different and unpredictable. There was a lot of the same old, same old on the red carpet this year. Mermaid tails, bland colors, sequins and whatnot. These were four women who really caught my eye.

I love how Michelle Dockery stands out. It makes her look statuesque and elegant, which are two adjectives that suit her. I loved Lucy Liu’s because it was so bold and different from everything else. It’s difficult to tell in the front-on photo, but Kristen Bell is pregnant. I loved this maternity gown – the neckline was not my favorite, but everything else about it was. And I liked how simple, yet sexy, Olivia Munn’s column dress was. I love column dresses because you see so many ball gown and mermaid tail skirts on the red carpet.

Not My Jam

Many things on the red carpet were, to be extremely kind, not my jam. In fact, some were downright hideous.

I wanted to like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler so much, because I adore them as comedians and I liked that they kind of dressed like they were dating. I came close to liking this.

tiny fey and amy poehler

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler

Tina’s dress isn’t the worst if you ignore the terrible posture they caught in this photo, but I hate the length. I came so close to liking Amy’s suit, but again, length. Capri pants look good on no one. A full-length skinny pant would have been amazing.

Another one I came close to liking was Rachel Weisz.

rachel weisz

Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz

The top two thirds of this are fantastic, except for a cocktail party rather than a fancy awards show. But the sheer skirt and the sour-faced husband ruin it.

These next four, though, were really the pits. The worst of the worst.

golden globes 2013 worst

Left to right: Kat McPhee, Alyssa Milano, Jennifer Lawrence, Jessica Chastain

Katharine McPhee is trying to hard. The front boob, the side boob, the leg. It was all too much. She looked like a skanky geisha. I’m not sure why Alyssa Milano was invited to the show, since it wasn’t taking place in 1998, but that orange dress appeared to be made from the cheapest, shiniest 1980s prom dress fabric ever.

The worst and most disappointing two, though, were Jennifer Lawrence and Jessica Chastain. Jennifer’s orange ball gown, at first glance, was fine though not my cup of tea. The mirrored belt was cool, but the tight strapless bodice and full skirt look has never been my favorite. But then, up close, we all saw her chest. Her breasts had been squished into this weird bodice, and then elongated in some sort of cruel cone bra. Horrendous.

Jessica’s problem was the opposite – instead of being squished into a contraption, her breasts were left to swim among yards of extra fabric. That blue dress is so ill-fitting, I’m convinced it was someone’s high school sewing class project. From the side, it was truly tragic.

So those are my favorites and frowns of the red carpet! What were yours?

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About Jill

Pop culture junkie and TV aficionado. I write sharp and snarky TV recaps at www.couchtimewithjill.com
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4 Responses to The Golden Globes Red Carpet – Favorites and Frowns

  1. Pingback: The 2013 Golden Globe Awards | Couchtime With Jill

  2. Vanessa says:

    My cable is all wonky at the moment so I ended up catching a weird paparazzi camera stream, which actually ended up being entertaining because I got to see them pose awkwardly on the red carpet between Access Hollywood and E! while the photogs yelled and were often snarky. I agree with some of your favorites, Olivia Munn and Michelle Dockery were among my faves, I also liked Jennifer Garners dress and actually though Lea Michelle looked pretty good.

    I first saw Daniel and Rachel from the waist up and was going to say hands down best dressed couple, and then I saw the bottom of the mullet dress, I wish it had been black all the way down. I agree with you on Alyssa and Jessica for least favorite, but I have to add Lucy Liu, I love 90% of the outfit but the flower pattern completely ruined it for me.

    Overall I found the dresses pretty meh this year, it seems like the mullet dresses evolved from short in the front/long in the back to solid/sheer fabric. With all of the cutouts and spaghetti straps, I kind of feel like it was a 1997 prom.

    • Jill says:

      That’s really funny! The photographers are the worst. I also really hate the mullet dress, I wish it would go out of fashion already.

  3. Pingback: The 2013 Golden Globe Awards – Review

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