Survivor – Yo Mama

This was a rather predictable episode of Survivor, but I like how this season is shaping up. There are some big personalities and LOTS of drama. On the White Collar tribe, it’s all passive-aggressive snark. On the Blue Collar tribe, it’s LOTS of yelling. On the No Collar tribe, it’s all hurt feelings and being left out. Oof, these people are really living up to their stereotypes. Good work, editors!

White Collars

The White Collar tribe has focused their dislike on Shirin, who walked around naked that one time and is interested in wildlife. (Speaking of nudity, did we see Max AT ALL this week?)

Shirin was like, pretty into watching monkeys, and talking to monkeys, and talking about the monkeys. She told a story about watching the monkeys, you know… do it. But, guys? Isn’t that at least kind of interesting? It’s like watching a nature documentary except IRL! I feel like I could get along with Shirin.

While most of the tribe looked for the Hidden Immunity Idol, Carolyn sat by the fire and relaxed because HA HA SHE ALREADY HAS IT, SUCKERS. Kind of a stupid move there, Carolyn. You should have at least faked looking for a while.

Joaquin really, really hates Shirin because she’s “a relentless, paranoid woman.” He likes Tyler though, because “that’s my boy.” Cool story, bro. I hate your face and the way people call you “Wok” for short.

Blue Collars

From the edit we’re getting, it looks like the Blue Collar tribe yells four times as much as the other two tribes combined. There are six people on this tribe, and only two of them still seem normal – Sierra and Kelly. Keep your heads down and pray for a merge, y’all. Because you’re working with a bunch of knuckleheads.

First, there was Dan throwing out a “your mother is a ho” crack at Rodney. What the hell, dude? That guy is from Boston. Don’t joke about Boston mothers. Rodney got kind of worked up about that, but his anger was quickly focused on Mike. Oh, Mike. Mike is the son of a preacher man (this week I finally figured out that his awful back tattoo reads “Psalm 121″), and an oil rig worker. The guy has work ethic up to wazoo and a big mouth. He’s a martyr. Because, you know, it doesn’t seem like the rest of the tribe is all that lazy. It just seems like Mike can’t sit still.

Mike is already rubbing Rodney and Lindsey the wrong way. Rodney got riled up, and suddenly his issues with Mike had something, somehow, to do with the cost of owning a home in Massachusetts. Lindsey made it about never hearing “thank you”, which is ridiculous. It’s a communal camp, she shouldn’t expect to receive thanks for keeping her own camp functioning. She also shouldn’t have to take orders from Mike, because Mike is not in charge. Just like Rodney, Lindsey was all riled up over this. These people need to take, like, eight chill pills. Speaking of which…

No Collars

The No Collars returned from Tribal Council knowing that Will had changed his vote to make sure Vince was eliminated. It was a bad move, because now no one trusted Will. He’d flipped on Nina, and he’d given Joe, Jenn and Hali a reason to distrust him.

Still, Nina knew she was toast and took the opportunity to continue digging her grave by acting like a real martyr about it. Honestly, Nina. Learn to just, you know, be.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have Jenn. Jenn and Hali went “surfing” this week, which was really boogie boarding on pieces of driftwood but it looked hella fun. Jenn is here to have fun. “I don’t know why everyone takes this game so seriously,” she mused. BECAUSE IT IS A GAME FOR ONE MILLION DOLLARS, KIDDO. Hali is a fan of the game, so I really hope she’s just playing it under the radar right now and isn’t as much of a dope as Jenn.

There’s A Hole In My Bucket, Dear Jeff Probst

The challenge this week was once again a Reward/Immunity combo. Tribes had to transport water through an obstacle course using a bucket filled with holes. Joe on the No Collar tribe made the very poor decision of advising Nina to run ahead through the obstacle challenge, thus not helping plug the holes. It was a pointless move, because Nina easily could have helped. The No Collars tribe came in dead last.

The Blue Collars came first, and won a sweet comfort kit for camp. The White Collars won a tarp. I was pretty bummed when I was drawn last out of the Survivor pool and got assigned Dan, but it could have gone worse for me. The Blue Collars haven’t had to go to Tribal Council yet so he’s stayed in the game, and if other members of the tribe keep fighting he could squeak by for a while.

The No Collars had to choose whether to vote out Will or Nina. As Jenn put it, “they both suck in challenges.” It’s true, they’re both weak links on the tribe. Nina’s attitude is poor and brings everyone down, but Will didn’t vote like he said he would. It was a pretty close call.

Nina’s plea at Tribal Council read false to me. She doesn’t naturally fit in with this tribe, and she doesn’t know how to adjust her personality to fit in. Do you think Kelly likes the clowns over on Blue Collar? Probably not, but she’s making do. Nina can’t do that, and I don’t think anyone believed that she would try to be more free-spirited. You don’t try to be a free spirit, you just are one.

Nina was voted out, and it’s no surprise. I knew her days were numbered from the first episode. Her deafness was not the only thing that set her apart from her tribemates – I think Nina’s age and personality were the bigger obstacles there. Would she have fared better with the White Collars? Perhaps her and Shirin should have traded tribes, since I have a feeling Shirin (though being a powerful tech executive) would fit in better with the free spirits.

(I noticed that Hali voted for Will, not Nina. I assume it was because they were worried about an Idol coming into play.)

What do you guys think? Any favorite players yet? I don’t think I like anyone on the White Collar Tribe, but I think Sierra and Kelly are doing a good job of staying under the radar on Blue Collar. On White Collar, I prefer Joe and Hali to Jenn – but they’re all in trouble if they don’t start winning challenges.

Posted in Survivor

Just Finished: ‘The Dinner’ by Herman Koch

This weekend I finished reading The Dinner by Herman Koch. It took less than a week to read, because every time I found a spare moment I was picking it up.

The Dinner is a translation of a Dutch novel, and it remains set in Amsterdam. It was a fascinating read, and I don’t think I can really compare it to anything else I’ve read recently. In tone, perhaps, it’s most similar to Gone Girl. The unreliable narrator of The Dinner means you’re always wondering what exactly the truth is, and the story becomes more and more twisted as you carry on.

I don’t want to say too much, or else I’ll spoil it for you. It’s an intriguing, dark read that will make you question your own assumptions. If you’ve already read it, keep reading.

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The Bachelor Finale: A Proposal and Two Bachelorettes

Well folks, we’re finally here. The finale episode. Would Chris choose Whitney or Becca?

10914878_10152682393453053_5039514624969024842_oFamily Matters

Whitney was first to meet Chris’s family. How could Whitney not win a family over? She’s like a blonde Minnie Mouse. She wants his mom and sisters to be her mom and sisters. She’s SO into Chris, and ready to move to Arlington. She’s a a beautiful orphaned nurse and no one would turn their nose up at her.

Over the past few weeks, I was sure Whitney had this in the bag. But then Chris’s sisters asked him what the difference in his two relationships are, and the way he talked about Becca made me rethink that. He said so much about what’s right with Becca.

Becca is so much more hesitant about this whole thing than Whitney is. You know, like a normal person might be. Becca isn’t a standoffish ice queen though, so it seemed like she was getting along with the family just fine. She was honest and told Chris’s sisters that she’s not in love yet, and that she won’t move to Arlington until she’s 100% sure. It was all, like, SUCH normal things to say. But it’s obvious that Chris’s sisters would rather him choose the woman who has basically already packed her bags for Iowa.

Chris’s mom gave some pretty strong advice to Becca. She basically implied (or outright said) that Becca is in love with Chris and too scared to admit it. Becca was in tears afterwards and left feeling overwhelmed. Ugh, this show is NOT for Becca. Can’t she meet a nice guy in San Diego, date for a couple years, and then think about getting married? Why is she here?

Five Year Plan

Oh man. Watching Chris and Becca discuss a potential future together at the hotel was painful. She doesn’t know when she might be ready to get married and move – maybe two years. She doesn’t know why she isn’t in love with him right now. Ooooof. That’s all, like, totally normal. But it doesn’t exactly help the guy make a decision.

Chris: “I’m pushing you.”
Becca: “I know, and I need to be pushed. I have the kind of personality that needs to be pushed.”

Is it just me, or is that the most Real Talk that has ever occurred on The Bachelor? I don’t know if Chris and Becca would make it if he chooses her, but their conversation was one of the few genuine ones I think I’ve ever seen on the show.

“It’s just a weird situation,” Chris sighed. The poor guy JUST realized that he’s on The Bachelor. Just click your heels three times and say “There’s no place like home”, Chris! That’ll get you back to Kansas, which is basically Iowa right?

Farm Hands

Chris’s date with Whitney was more upbeat, since Whitney squealed at the idea of picking corn on Chris’s farm. GURL. You have been taken to a frozen wasteland in the middle of nowhere. Take it down, like, 26 notches.

Whitney asked questions about farming and actually listened to the answers. Who does that? I would’ve been like “Corn? More like POPCORN. I’ll be inside watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix with the cat, see you later.”

Whitney asked Chris if he had any final thoughts. He responded with a question: “What makes you so sure?” Have you noticed how Whitney does, like, 98% of the talking when they’re together?


I really began to lose interest once Chris was struggling with his decision alone. I briefly perked up when I realized that poor Neil Lane had to bring all his diamonds to Iowa. Then, Chris entered the barn where he’d raised his first pig. How romantic! That’s a story to tell your children.

The barn looked like every Pinterest wedding combined into one, save for the hipster wedding party of dudes with beards and gals in flower crowns. Chris talked about how hard he’d worked to get to this place. Oh honey, NO ONE worked harder than the set designer on that place.

First up was Becca, in a strange red velvet gown. I liked the sleeves – the full-length sleeves were appropriate for the frozen hellscape of a locale – but the fabric was weird. Like Santa Claus’s sexy mistress.

Chris started to talk about what he sees in Becca, the potential they have, and the incredible life they could have together. “I know I could see you as being my wife,” he said. “…and you’re not…really ready.”

Um, that was a lengthy way to dump someone. Is he going to propose to Whitney now? When he obviously has stronger feelings for Becca? That’s the romantic equivalent of when I eat an entire bag of frozen mango because my dinner isn’t ready yet. It’s not what I want, but it’s sweet and it’s there and it’s ready for the taking.

Becca didn’t cry. That says a lot about Becca. Early on I thought Becca was crazy boring, but now I actually think she seems a lot like me. Only I would never entertain the thought of maybe moving to Arlington, under any circumstances.

Then Whitney arrived. I knew there would be a proposal, because there’s no way Chris would blow this opportunity to get a woman to move to Arlington. I don’t know if you knew this, but Chris is from a really small town. I don’t think that ever came up.

Wasn’t it so weird how Whitney started talking? Like, this is the ONE moment where Chris is supposed to talk. But he just, like, stood there until Whitney said something. This one moment will sum up their entire marriage.

Whitney should just keep the barn looking like this, all the time. It’ll make for some epic Instagram photos. “Here I am in my barn, drinking coffee and wearing over-the-knee socks.” “Here I am in my barn, wearing a white dress with suede fringed boots and a boho hat.” “Here I am in my barn, wearing a fishtail braid and working on this antique dresser restoration DIY project.” (Hmm, maybe I could live in Iowa. I’m making it sound pretty fun.)

After The Final Rose

OK, so Chris picked the sure thing. What I was dying to know was, how did Whitney feel once she saw that Chris had some pretty gosh-darn strong feelings for Becca? A normal woman might feel threatened or undermined. But I feel like Whitney is so dead-set on her Prince Farming Fairytale that she won’t let it bother her.

Twenty minutes into After The Final Rose, and NOTHING interesting had happened. Didn’t they say there would be some kind of big surprise? Or did they say “announcement”? An announcement is much less exciting. That could be anything. Like Bachelor Pad.

Whitney came out, and they were sickeningly sweet and in love. Chris got a little creepy when telling Harrison how his ideal wife was basically one of his sisters. The whole thing had a rather forced quality that made me want to look away.

Whitney told Harrison that she didn’t watch the show (only her dates), but that she knows some stuff because of social media. Soooo, basically that means she’s seen Jade’s naked photos. Like, that’s what that meant, right?

Whitney and Chris are sure they’re going to have cute babies. Sure, maybe. But they’ll also have voices and laughs that only animals care hear.

Ugh, this show got so boring towards the end. Jimmy Kimmel’s shenanigans were pure filler.

At the end of the show, Chris Harrison took an applause poll for who the next Bachelorette should be. He said fans and staff were totally split down the middle on this hot button issue. Er…what? Social media seems to overwhelmingly want Kaitlyn to be the next bachelorette. Harrison’s applause poll was humiliating. Britt got like, two claps, probably from her mom. Kaitlyn was the clear favorite. “Bachelor Nation is split on this” was a load of crap. Immediately I knew where this was going – they’re both going to be a bachelorette.

This would work a lot better if people actually liked Britt. So basically, The Bachelor has found a way to put the power in the hands of the men EVEN ON A SHOW WHERE THE WOMAN IS SUPPOSED TO BE MAKING THE DECISIONS. Then Britt and Kaitlyn were trotted out, hand in hand, wearing matching glittery dresses. Kaitlyn looked like she’s putting up with this nonsense for a free trip to Bali.

Chris asked Kaitlyn how she felt when she found out that there would be two bachelorettes. “Well, the first thing I thought was…that’s not ideal.”

I already have a clear favorite.

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The Amazing Race – Dating Game

I missed The Amazing Race last season, never getting around to catching up once I got back from my honeymoon. I’d been so bored by the past several seasons that I had no motivation to watch three or four episodes online. Naturally, since I wasn’t watching, I’m told it was one of the better seasons they’ve done recently.

And so, I’m back. This season of The Amazing Race has a new twist: half the teams are dating couples, and the other half are on “blind dates”. That’s right – they are literal STRANGERS who have been paired up to run the race together.

The Amazing Race season 26 cast.

I’ve got to say, the twist is working. I love it. Over the first three episodes, it’s been really interesting to watch the dynamics of couples vs. strangers. Some of the “blind dates” get along better than others, of course. At first, the Blind Dates were doing very well – after all, they were probably on their best behavior. Real couples were more likely to become aggravated with one another. But that can only last a few days, especially in a high pressure situation, and the bickering is now beginning to set in.

One of my biggest problems with The Amazing Race over the last couple years was that the challenges bored me. So far, that hasn’t been an issue. One of my favorite challenges so far was when teams had to deliver trays of food via zipline. Champagne, soup, etc. Nothing could be spilled. That’s hard!

I used to really love this show, so I’m happy to feel invested in the teams and the outcome once again. I already have some favorites. If you’ve seen the most recent episodes, click through for more.

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Survivor – Cause You Know I Love The Players, And You Love The Game

survivor worlds apart logoFirst things first: the Survivor pool. I did not fare well this time, kids. Seventeen names in a hat and I was drawn LAST. Last! I ended up with Dan. Dan. The guy who lost his teeny-tiny underpants in the ocean and had to fashion a replacement out of his only shirt. (He can’t wear his jeans, because no one wants to go commando in wet jeans.)

Welp. It’s unlikely that I’ll be winning this one. But, hey – you never know! Jenn and Joe were some of the first picks, and they were both on the chopping block this week. (More pool updates, for anyone interested: my mom has Sierra, my husband has Hali and my sister has Tyler.)

I could show you incredible things…

While Dan was going to great lengths to keep at least somewhat covered up around camp, over at the White Collar tribe people were shedding their undergarments left and right. Max kicked things off, strolling around in the buff as an homage to Richard Hatch. Shirin followed suit, strangely decided to keep her bra on but to remove her bottoms. I can’t say I understood the logic there. Tyler looked so uncomfortable. I don’t think her heard a single word of that conversation about washing pots.

At the Blue Collar tribe, Mike was making everyone so agitated that I began to think Dan might just have a shot in this game. Dan is older, overweight, and has an annoying personality. It seemed like a sure thing that he’d be the first boot for the Blue Collars. But not if Mike has anything to say about it!

Mike is military. Mike is a task master. Mike wants to retrieve firewood until the cows come home. Mike does not want to hang around playing makeshift basketball. The guy seems like a real killjoy. The impression I’ve gotten from interviews with former Survivor players is that there’s a lot of downtime. Time when you aren’t strategizing or surviving, you’re just hanging out and, like, playing blackjack with some banana leaves you painted numbers on. Is the Blue Collar tribe really that lazy, or does Mike just want to work 24/7? He is making enemies fast.

I get drunk on jealousy…

Over at the No Collar tribe, things were falling apart fast. Vince is so intensely jealous of Joe, it’s embarrassing. What was with the way he confronted him? “I just need you to acknowledge that you steamroll projects.” Ummm, no thanks? Joe was as nice as possible and handled the situation pretty well – he even told Hali and Jenn that Vince is probably smarter and more intuitive than they think. But the tribe has definitely split down age lines – above and below 30.

Nina is finding it hard to fit in, because of her disability. I felt for her – it cannot be easy to be hard of hearing on Survivor. So many conversations are whispered and discreet, or happen at night or while hauling firewood. When Jenn and Hali went skinny-dipping without inviting her, it was like a breaking point. She felt so miserable and left out, and just lost it.

“But Nina,” I thought. “They didn’t exclude you because you’re deaf. They excluded you because you’re old!”

I can be mean when I’m only talking to the TV/my husband. But it’s the truth – the hot twenty-somethings did not think the 50+ year old mom would want to come skinny dipping.

There was a right way for Nina to handle that situation, and she went the opposite direction. She was emotional and hurt, and confronted them with a mix of anger, sarcasm and martyrdom that just was not going to work. Jenn got all defensive, and escalated the situation. Let’s just be honest – Jenn seems mean.

I can make all the tables turn…

Challenge time! And LOL Mike, it involves basketball! The tribes had to maneuver buoys through a water obstacle course, and then shoot baskets. Dan told Probst that he’d surprise him, and he did. He surprised me! He made it through the course faster than Vince and Tyler.

The challenge had so many ups and downs. At one point the No Collars were quite ahead, but Will ultimately lost a huge lead for the No Collars. But the fact that NO ONE on that tribe could sink a basket was what really led to their loss. Joaquin led the White Collars to first place, and Sierra nabbed second place for the Blue Collars. Suck it, Mike! No more whining about leisure activities back at camp.

Back at the No Collar camp, there was a flurry of activity. Joe, Hali and Jenn are obviously a strong trio. Will and Nina are friends. Vince is… also there. Vince wanted to vote out Joe, saying “this is our one chance to get Joe out.” Um, no it’s not, dude. This is your first Tribal Council. Now is not the time. Other opportunities will come up.

Jenn wanted to vote for Vince, saying she finds him untrustworthy. Sure. But I think what she really meant was “creepy and annoying”.

Although there was some discussion around Will’s exhaustion and Nina’s age, I was surprised that their names didn’t come up more. Will sucked in this week’s challenge, and Nina sucked in last week’s. They are the two weak links on the tribe, but everyone’s already jumping to who they don’t trust or who the big threats are. Don’t come out so strong right out of the gate, guys!

Joe, Hali, Jenn and Will discussed splitting the vote between Vince and Nina, in case there was an Idol in play. I thought that was a very stupid idea, since they were not sure they had Will in their corner. And they didn’t – Will was playing both sides, and told Nina about the plan. Nina, Vince and Will talked about voting out Jenn, because she’s untrustworthy and mean to Nina. If votes were being split, that meant they’d only need three votes to get Jenn out.

And then Nina asked Will about his health. He said he was fine. Great! Let’s shake hands and walk away. Only, no. Nina didn’t leave it at that. “Vince is concerned about your health getting in the way of us winning challenges,” she told Will.

NINA. Nina. Nina. I’m sorry, but you’re a moron. I tried to cut Nina some slack when she super mishandled the skinny-dipping incident, because it was an emotional situation. But what was this? She totally bungled that conversation. Clearly, social skills aren’t Nina’s strong suit.

I’ve got a blank space baby, and I’ll write your name…

Will was angry, obviously, and started to seriously consider voting for Vince. Still, after all the conversations at Tribal Council I really thought it might be Jenn going home.

Nina and Vince voted Jenn. Joe voted Nina. And… everyone else voted Vince? What happened there?

So long, coconut man. I found Vince kind of annoying so I’m not really that sorry to see him go. Nina’s days are numbered now.

What did you guys think of the episode? Do I have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning with DAN???

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Initial Thoughts on ‘Better Call Saul’

I was intrigued, though not necessarily enthused, by the idea of a Breaking Bad spinoff. After all, why mess with a good thing? I didn’t want the Breaking Bad universe to be tarnished by a botched attempt to keep the good times rolling.

The more I found out about Better Call Saul, the more I came around to the idea. Even though Saul Goodman was the kind of character that you could describe as seasoning – something that adds flavor, but can ruin a dish if you use too much – he was believable enough that it was possible he could carry his own show. The key to success, though, was making Better Call Saul a prequel.

Saul is not Saul yet, he’s Jimmy. He’s a struggling lawyer who runs a lot of scams. He’s yet to ascend (descend?) to the level of criminality we saw from him in Breaking Bad. And besides, he always seemed like a guy who was more greedy than evil. Walt was evil, not greedy. He was in it for the thrill and the power, not the money. Saul was always, always in it for the money.

The first episode of Better Call Saul was rough for me. I have a short attention span, and it has a running time of 53 minutes. With commercials. OK, OK – that’s not so bad. But there was a lot – I mean a lot – of exposition in that first episode. They lost me in the setup. I was straight-up BORED.

But I try to never judge a show by its pilot, and I appreciated that the writers needed to set up this new world. They had to introduce us to Jimmy, his situation, his friends and family. So I agreed to give it a few more episodes. The second episode was much more entertaining. The third episode hooked me.

Better Call Saul is not as twisted or violent as Breaking Bad, but has that same dark sense of humor. It also takes intrigue out of the equation. We already know how Saul’s story ends, so this show is more about the journey than the destination. It’s about hijinks (which I love) and how Jimmy eventually becomes Saul.

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The Bachelor – The Women Tell All, But Say Little

This week, the women tell all! Ah, this is the episode I live for. When everyone has to awkwardly face their poor behavior while trying to audition to be the next bachelorette.


Things started off with a lot of bickering, with Britt confronting Carly and many other women chiming in as well. Obviously, there are a lot of strong feelings about Britt. Jillian really, really likes her. Carly, clearly, doesn’t.

I’m sure there’s some merit to what the women said about Britt being contradictory. But damn, does Carly ever shut up? Britt seems like a flake, but a nice flake. Carly just seems petty and mean.

Whatever, though. Weren’t we all really here to see the women unite to take down Kelsey?


Kelsey got into the hot seat and sobbed “I feel…sniff…like I’m…sniff…grieving all over again.” Oh man, here she goes! Kelsey is so forceful in her act, I sometimes wonder if she herself believes it. She blew her nose in Chris Harrison’s pocket square and the other women were SO grossed out. This is how you know the handkerchief has officially evolved into a pocket square, useful only for fashion.

I thought it was strange how Chris Harrison let people basically have at Britt, and interrupt and harp on how much they dislike her, yet he kept the conversation with Kelsey so controlled. She was given much more of a platform to redeem herself than Britt was, and it seemed like Chris was trying to turn Ashley I. the villain.

I was right, though. I don’t think anyone stuck up for Kelsey. She was universally disliked.

Ashley S.

Man, that interview was just as weird as Ashley’s entire run on the show. I don’t want to comment on this much because, well, what is her deal? Is it a put-on? Is she on drugs? Or…something else? I don’t think I can comfortably point and laugh, the way I can at literally everyone else on this show.


Poor Jade. She’s being so harshly judged by the people who make this show, and well, it’s this show. No one felt like admitting that going on The Bachelor is like, only two or three steps up from posing for playboy. I mean, if you were going to make a Venn diagram of Bachelor contestants and people who’ve posed nude, would Jade be the ONLY one in both circles?

Jade was the most hurt by things Chris wrote in his blog the morning after her elimination episode aired. Fair enough, but do we think Chris is actually responsible for writing those? Or do you think Jimmy Kimmel writes them for him?


Around an hour and a half in (yes, this was TWO HOURS long, as always) we heard from the woman who will inevitably be the next bachelorette, Kaitlyn. I like Kaitlyn, but do I ever find listening to people talk about being “vulnerable” and having “feelings” boring. NEXT!


Chris hit the stage and shared the Longest. Hug. Ever. with Britt. There should have been a timer on that thing, or a trap door that opened when it reached peak awkwardness. Their conversation was bland and instantly forgettable.

I was more interested in Chris’s response to Kaitlyn’s question, which was “Why did you make me go through a rose ceremony?” The answer was, basically “Because that’s the show.” But we know that not everyone always follows the rules of the show – Kaitlyn pointed out that Andi did Chris the courtesy of a (semi) private breakup. So really, the answer was “Because I’m a dope.”

I think that sums up this episode.

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